So I walked out of Wednesday lesson convinced I was going to drop Mambo from the upcoming Showcase. I got reintroduced to the steps I used to know and it felt alien and uncomfortable. Logically, it didn’t seem like there would be enough time to get it in a workable state given the number of days I’m going to miss in the next two weeks.
I got to my lesson yesterday to see OwnerGuy and PJ working through the Silver III stuff. One part requires side by side stuff which I’ve never liked because if you aren’t in sync, it is all too obvious. I then spent the first part of my lesson explaining my logic to PJ. I mean I thought I made a good case. We only have a limited amount of time and shouldn’t we be spending it on perfecting the things I know well rather than trying to jam something new in.
Even when the steps actually came back, I was still finding reasons to want to drop it. I told her that it is one thing to do it slowly. It is quite another thing to do it up to Mambo timing. To get there, you really have to know what you are doing so you aren’t having to think about what step comes next. As luck would have it, someone else was using a Mambo and so we tried it to timing and it worked far better than I imagined.
At one point, I tried a different tactic. OwnerGuy is big on getting stuff on the floor as soon as possible to battle test it. There is a big part of me that doesn’t want to put substandard stuff out there and I tried that line of thinking. I got understanding but PJ kept subtly pushing me to do it.
In the end, I finally had some new thoughts show up. This was the downside of my perfectionist talking. The part that is really linked to ego. I was telling myself that the Mambo wasn’t up to my standards but was that really more about protecting myself from making mistakes out there. Protection from not looking “perfect”.
I know the whole shooting for perfection holds you back. It is something that must be battled all the time or it takes over and talks me into doing things that I shouldn’t. Like not doing Mambo at this upcoming Showcase. What’s the worst that happens? I mess up and we fake something for a heat or two. Is that really so bad?
In the end, I decided it wasn’t and that I should go ahead and include the Mambo so that’s what is going to happen.
Side note – I have no idea how active I’m going to be in the next couple of weeks. Memorial Day weekend is going to be taken up with going through Mom and Dad’s things and getting their house prepped for sale. The service is the first Thursday in June and there will be one round trip drive in between. With motel internet and other things, it might not be possible to post regularly.