Good Monday Morning

So I’m really feeling like I’ve had to put my life on hold since the surgery last week. I finally got a close look at my nose and there are stitches in multiple different places. Maybe the doc was taking up needlepoint and using my nose as a trial run for some bigger project. I have no idea whether it is the stitches or allergies or something else but the one side has been stuffed up since the day after the surgery. I hate that because it requires a degree of mouth breathing which lead to dry lips (at least for me).

Plus the whole antibiotic thing is not helping. It hasn’t done anything really bad except for the just some general stomach upset which leads me to not want to eat. And then I feel better and eat and it starts to feel worse again. I’ve thought about stopping because I should be past the point of getting any type of infection but I’m being a good little patient and taking the entire dose. The good news is that I’m down to the last four pills so Wednesday morning I’m done with it.

Have you ever had something numbed up and how it feels when you touch it? For some reason, the tip of my nose feels this way. I get these feeling like it itches but it is really more of a tingling that comes and goes and switches positions from time to time. I suspect there is some nerve damage which may not be a shock given they had to cut something out of me. Since I’m really the type to just put up with it, I haven’t call the doctor to see if it is something I should be concerned with. I just assume things are waking up after surgery but I should probably bring it up tomorrow when he takes the stitches out. Even though the guy was listening to Ozzie, he’s not much of a conversationalist so I may not get much out of him.

Yeah, it comes back to that I should have asked a whole bunch of questions before just to understand the things that are happening now. Of course, that is kind of a double edged sword because when they start telling you all the things that can go wrong, my mind goes to those places. I mean it freaked me out just a bit when they started asking if I had a medical directive in place. Like there is some risk of going under and never coming back. So I don’t really know if being prepared would have made this any better. I guess just knowing that I was probably not going to be jumping for joy the after might have helped. But I’m trying to remain optimistic. The stitches come out tomorrow and once I get off the stupid antibiotic, I’ll at least be on the road to feeling more like myself.

It doesn’t help that I’m having some trouble sleeping. Why? I have no idea. But I also woke up with another pounding headache. The ones where you want to sleep but the pain is too bad. I ended up doing my own drug cocktail of 2 Tylenol and 2 Advil. I do have the prescription stuff they gave me after surgery but that really didn’t do much for me the one night I took it. Besides, since I’m going on little sleep, taking something like that would leave me groggy but still in pain. Not a great combination.

The one plus was getting up early and watching the world come to life. When we were in Aruba, the sunsets were beautiful but I’m more of a sunrise type of guy. Something about the promise of a new day – there is so much potential in a sunrise because you don’t know what good things might be in store. Plus, I like seeing the light come up and the birds start to sing. Even with the pounding headache, it was still peaceful.

Oh and summer has come on with full force. It was like someone flipped a switch and all the hot, humid stuff poured in. We don’t get a lot of long and extended periods of this type of weather so I don’t hate it as much as some people do. Except when I don’t feel great like now. Then, being outside for any length of time isn’t fun. It also doesn’t help that I’ve got some antibiotic ointment (now there’s a fun word) to put on the stitches and it kind of turns into a runny mess in this type of weather. So I’ve been mostly indoors which kind of sucks.

I am really hoping that I start to feel better by Wednesday. This week is the 4th of July and we always go to an outdoor concert by our symphony that ends with fireworks. The problem is that to get a good spot, you need to get there early and stake out your claim. That does mean sitting in the heat for some period of time. There is usually some shade but it is still sitting out in humid weather which isn’t going to be fun if I feel like this. Oh and the weather forecast calls for a chance of showers and thunderstorms each day which could make sitting outside even more fun. But I’m going to be optimistic because the storms are going to be scattered which means it could be raining like crazy in one spot and totally dry just a few miles away. So the storms could totally miss us or not even materialize. You never know.

I’m also supposed to be working on a draft of my resume but I haven’t felt like taking that on. I’m just waiting for the “friendly” reminder from my resume person that she’s waiting for my next draft. Ugh. I’m constantly questioning my logic in continuing with this program but, in the back of my mind, I still think there is a possibility that I could find something meaningful and having an updated resume makes sense. Besides, the company is paying for it so why not spend their money. It all makes logical sense.

I’m meeting a friend from work for lunch today. I think I’ll tell my career coach it was a networking opportunity. I listened to a webinar on networking and it left me cold. Aside from the introvert thing where actually calling someone on the phone is problematic, there was something else that I finally realized. I think it is a mix of my personality and the way I was raised which is to not really want to ask for help. Which is silly because people like to help but the networking thing is different because you are the one without a job and you are talking to someone with a job about other people who might have jobs available. Because 70% of the jobs are “hidden” and given to friends of friends I guess. Still feels like you are coming to someone hat in hand begging for help. I know that’s not how it is but I can’t shake that feeling. You are in the powerless position and you are trying to meet with people who have power. Yeah I’ve probably got a really warped view of networking.

Oh and then there is the small talk component to it. See you aren’t supposed to just hit someone up with “got any jobs for me”. There is even a networking brief where you introduce yourself with a 30 second commercial to get the other person’s attention. It is just supposed to be about getting more contacts and more contacts because, in theory, we are only six degrees of separation away from one of those hidden jobs. It all seems like some silly dance. You meet someone you don’t really know (friend of a friend) and hope they can maybe connect you to someone else and so on. And I know it works and there are people who are really good at it. I just don’t like the entire concept. Plus, to be honest, I’m not looking to jump at the first opportunity so even if I did get a connection to one of those hidden jobs, I’d probably turn it down unless it checked a whole lot of boxes. Then again, that has nothing to do with the resume so I should probably just focus there and let the rest of the stuff fall as it happens.

And because its Monday, my dog threw up this morning. The chemo medicine he’s on (I should probably tell that story at some point) sometimes makes him a little queezy. We’ve actually started giving him Pepcid which sometimes helps and sometimes doesn’t. This morning, I think he just drank too much or too fast because the water came right back up. This is probably not what you want to read but it is part of my life. You have pets, you deal with this stuff.

Oh and my shoulder doesn’t seem to be getting any better. I’ll go do my exercises but I move my arm in the wrong way or reach for something and there is a shooting pain. This does not make me happy. I kind of got the feeling at the last therapy session that the therapist is kind of grasping at straws so I’m not sure what new stuff he’ll come up tomorrow.

The good news is that the knee is feeling a little better. That had better hold up since I’m supposed to have two lessons tomorrow. I’ll have to let you know how that goes.

I think this sounded a little more whiny than I wanted. Guess that’s the problem of having this forum. We were taught to suck it up so I’m not the type to whine in person. But I’m writing here so I guess I need to whine just a little bit about not feeling the greatest.