Not so Fun Times Today

So today I get to go to the dentist for the semi-annual torture known as teeth cleaning. I hate everything about it. I wore braces for many years and I’m pretty sure the orthodontist enjoyed torturing small animals in his off hours. I think he lived for the days when he got to tighten the contraption and cause excessive pain.

That kept me away from dentist’s for awhile until a tooth started bothering me enough that I had to find one. Since then, I’ve realized it is just one of those things you have to put up with. I don’t dislike the dentists or the other people in the office. They are nice people who try to make the whole experience as pleasant as possible but there is only so much you can do and you can never turn it into a pleasurable thing.

Getting my hair cut is an awkward experience because you’ve got that whole small talk thing. The dentist is even worse. The person cleaning my teeth starts yammering on about something and asks a question or two. Like I’m supposed to answer with a tool in my mouth. Really, I get you want to be friendly but I just want this to end as quickly as possible so I don’t need that much chatter. If the talking covered up the sounds of the scraping, that would be one thing but it doesn’t so it serves no purpose.

And they do those stupid x-rays when they have to shove this thing as far back in your mouth as possible and they you are supposed to hold it in place while they leave the room to press the button. It always sucks when something goes wrong and they need to redo it. I can’t get that thing out of my mouth fast enough.

I know the whole teeth cleaning is important. Well maybe it is or maybe we’ve just been tricked into believing it but one of the hygienists is something of a perfectionist and I cringe when I get her because she’s never satisfied. There’s always some more scraping needing. I hate it when she gives me the false signal and moves on to another part of my mouth but then comes back to where she just was because she just noticed something else. Look, I’ll take 90% clean. Good enough for me. 

When I was working, I tended to schedule early in the morning so I’d get it over with as soon as possible. Now, my wife and I try to coordinate appointments and she’s not a morning person so we’ve got it right after lunch. That just gives me more time to sit and imagine how bad it is going to be. Probably not the best thing to do but I can’t help it.

Well I’ll survive. The good news is that I haven’t had any real problems for several years (hope I didn’t just jinx it). So maybe the whole teeth cleaning thing serves a purpose.