Big Fish, Small Pond

I had a coaching lesson last night and I’m still trying to wrap my head around what happened. I should mention that this particular coach is someone I’ve worked with before and she’s a very, very talented dancer.

I did the whole competition thing many years ago when I was still dancing with Z. On the whole, it was not a pleasant experience. There were good moments but it ended badly. The last one I did with Kid T was better and a whole lot less stressful but just didn’t really light a fire in me.

Yes, I’ve grown comfortable with sticking with Showcases because it fills the need to get out on the floor and have some fun and feed my inner performer. Had not really considered that it might also be limiting in a way.

So we spent the entire lesson looking at the Fox Trot. We talked a bit about my dance life and, even though I have no competitions on the horizon, she wanted to treat this lesson like I did. She said if it was too much then I needed to let her know. But she wanted to do it because she saw untapped potential.

So we worked on top line and head weight and using that to initiate the movements. And keeping the energy in the frame and elbows. Lots and lots of positioning and trying to feel it and hold it while dancing. A lot of it comes down to the whole energy and momentum issue and using that to get more movement. Kind of the whole “Dance Bigger” theme.

Not going to lie, having a very accomplished dancer talk about potential and ability was great. But it also triggered some other part of me. Kind of like I wanted to do the “We’re not worthy” thing from Wayne’s World. I’ve accepted that I’ve got a certain talent for this but I guess, on some level, I’m still selling myself short.

At one point, she also kind of suggested that I’m hiding myself away in the studio. And that I should be sharing my talents and gifts at bigger events. The word “inspirational” was used again. This is the stuff I’m having a hard time wrapping my head around.

Maybe because I just get so caught up in how it makes me feel that I don’t think as much about how it makes other people feel. I get feedback and I know people like watching me but that whole “inspirational” thing just feels like it is not a level I’m at. And the self confidence part again. Like, I’m good but not that good. I mean the dancers at those events are probably much better.

Anyway, the key takeaway is that I seem to be capable of much more than I think. Now why does that thought scare me a little bit?