Into that Dark Night

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I’m a noted lover of summer and spring when it is warm and the day lasts longer and it is just an invitation to get out in the world. As we get further into fall and closer to winter, we start to get more days like today – cloudy with a steady drizzle all day. The clouds hide the sun and make the darkness arrive sooner. A day for staying inside.

Except that I have to get to my lesson later. I chose to start doing lessons later in the evening for a couple of reasons. Have never liked driving in traffic so the later you go, the less traffic you encounter. Plus, my wife’s schedule is ever changing and it avoids those days where I’d have to time dinner around her meetings while still leaving time to get to an earlier lesson.

But on nights like this, it can be hard to get motivated to go out into the dark and wet and cold. I guess maybe some of the newness and initial excitement of getting ready for Showcase has worn off. Its not so shiny and new right now. Just a combination of factors putting a bit of a damper on my enthusiasm.

I also ended up signing up for another night at least for the next two weeks. I had planned to do that anyway as a way of getting in some additional practice before Showcase which comes up in just a few weeks. That also means another night of dragging myself out in the darkness. It where this starts to become a grind and I wonder if it is going to be worth it.

It is going to be nice to see the other routines. It is always fun to watch what people can put together and to watch people step outside their comfort zone. The truth is this isn’t going to be like a Showcase I’m used to. Normally, I dance a lot and it is just a big event with people in costumes and dance attire and it is just a great way to escape and spend a day doing something completely different than “normal”.

In the end, this is more like a studio demonstration. Its not bad but it isn’t quite the same. I’m only doing the one routine so there will be a lot of sitting around and watching people during the medal ball portion of it. And if there are masks, there will just be that constant physical reminder that this year is different. It is hard to escape reality when you have to wear it on your face.

I know this is not really something to be complaining about given all that is going on. I’m still able to do something I love even if it is not the same experience. Right now, I don’t have the choice between this and the way things used to be. The choice is between this and staying on the sidelines. Doesn’t make it any easier to want to leave the house though.

Then again, tomorrow could be sunny and that could change my whole attitude.

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