If I Could Turn Back Time

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I have no real desire to go back and relive the younger parts of my life. But there are many times when I wish my body was younger again. This ballroom stuff isn’t easy on the body. Especially one with a bit (maybe a lot) of wear and tear. Based on how I feel this morning, I’m wondering if there is a major muscle group that isn’t used while dancing.

There are advantages and disadvantages to having a teacher who seems to believe you are capable of more than you think you are. You will never discover your true potential without a push or two. The downside is just the old body complaining about what it was asked to do.

Again, we spent the entire lesson on the Waltz. I really do like the enthusiasm that Mini brings to a lesson. There are just times when she forgets that I’m not the best at verbal learning. Toss too many concepts at me and I kind of freeze up trying to sort them all out. How do I think about keeping the core engaged, pivoting through just the ankle, rising into the foot but then landing with soft knees. I know it all needs to come together at some point but it gets frustrating for me when you focus on ‘x’ and ‘y’ goes to hell.

And I do have this challenge of feeling how certain things need to be done. You can tell me over and over about engaging certain muscle groups or softening the knees and I’ll do what I think I’m supposed to do. But if I can’t really feel a difference, then I have no idea if I’m doing it right or if I can do it consistently. So we had to talk about that a bit last night. Ideally, I leave that part to her and just focus on trying to do what she wants.

Not going to lie – it is sometimes too easy to let the doubts creep in. I know my knees are creaky. While I know that certain muscles are stronger, it still is too easy for me to focus on what I can’t do. To be more accurate, to focus in on what I think I can’t do.

There is also this whole thing around knowing if you are making progress. With my workouts, it is easy. When things start feeling a little easier, you just add extra reps. Maybe that isn’t really progress but it feels like it.

I mentioned the little victories before in dance and that’s all I’ve got to go on. Things that were difficult at first gradually become easier and maybe almost second nature. Unfortunately, with dance, you are busy struggling with something new and it is easy to overlook the parts that used to give you trouble.

Even if you don’t yet truly believe in yourself.

So is this fun? I was wondering that a bit last night at 3AM when I had to get up to ice my knee because it was totally unhappy with what I put it through on the lesson. I have to be realistic. I’m not about to become any kind of champion. Is it really worth it to put this much effort into an activity that is supposed to just be a hobby?

In fact, Z actually came up to me before the lesson. She and OwnerGuy have seen that Mini and I are still dancing apart. That’s her call and I’m not going to push it. They were willing to let me just dance with her (in frame) just as way to have some fun. I think they’ve seen me looking lost on lessons and figure I’m not really enjoying it all that much.

So is it fun?

Darn good question.

I mean there are certainly things that would be more fun. Not going to lie about that. This feels like a much different path than other paths I’ve been down. Right now, I think it is leading to somewhere good. It is kind of a slog to get there but it feels like there is a payoff out there. So, for now, that’s good enough.

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