Friday Struggles

There’s a lot of ugly energy out there. My sister happens to live near a big city that is on fire and in the news right now. (She’s fine by the way). I don’t have any words to add other than I hate that there are plenty of people who seem perfectly happy fanning the flames rather than seeking a solution. I don’t have a solution either so all I have is this.

And this is one of those times when writing about the little things going on in my life seems a bit pointless and irrelevant. But when life feels like a nightmare that you can’t wake up from, I sometimes have to retreat here and try to make this a happy place. I can’t really solve anything from here but I’ll try to spread a little positive energy because we sure could use some right now.

I don’t know why I included the quote above. My inner cynic really wants to reject that last line. I mean I should be happy because someone else is miserable. Shouldn’t we want for no one to be miserable – which is probably hard to do. Or is this just a first world problem thing – but then everyone’s problems are real to them. Should we minimize them because there is greater suffering elsewhere. I’m not in the mood for this quote. Lets see if the next one is better.

OK, I like this one a little better. Except my inner cynic is saying that the world isn’t going to get better if I’m positive. Then again, there is power in positive energy so trying to radiate some might help.

Had an interesting text conversation the other day. A couple of my former team members were conversing and somehow decided to loop my into the conversation. They were actually curious about my life with no dancing. It might also have helped that one of them was drinking margaritas.

As a team, we weren’t perfect. Every group of people is going to have disagreements and arguments. That’s a given. But we had something. And I know this one person really misses that – I guess her new job doesn’t offer the same sort of feeling.

I was going to meet another person for a proper social distancing lunch yesterday. He’s starting a new job up and was going to be in the area. We had an option but it would have required eating outdoors and, right before lunch, the skies opened up so we called it off.

You know one of the misconceptions about introverts is that we all love this isolation and social distancing. No more out and about milling with and having to talk to people. Maybe we are better equipped to deal with it than extroverts, but eventually the isolation grinds on you.

I don’t miss certain aspects of work at all. What I do miss is the connections with the people. And it wasn’t just work. It was with dance friends at the studio. It was with the people we got to know at the stores we frequented.

And, if I can believe something I read over the internet, this is something INFP’s need. To quote from this “It’s not social contact INFP’s crave – it’s mutual human understanding. They want to peek into another person’s world, thoughts and emotions.” Maybe that sounds like we want to observe other people like a scientist observing lab animals. I don’t think that’s quite right but there is something about connections that are needed. And there is only so much connecting you can do virtually.

Well I suppose I shall go find something else to do. Already got the dog to the park and it looks like it is going to rain some more so sitting outside is out of the question. I’ll think of something.