Saying Nothing at All

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So I’m kind of in a place where there isn’t much I want to talk about.

I don’t really want to talk about the dancing because of where it is right now.  OwnerGuy is trying to teach me some technique and leading and making things easier but I’m having difficulty processing it.  Some of this stuff is just so subtle and I can’t figure out how to make my body do what he wants.  And, even if I do, I can’t really feel a difference between what is sub-optimal vs what he wants.  Plus, I’m still getting use to how dancing with JoNY feels so it is all very frustrating.

And, yes, I know this is what I signed up for and I’m not questioning my decision.  There are things about Studio B that I haven’t discussed (and that I won’t) that didn’t make it an attractive option.

It also doesn’t help that Showcase is Sunday and this is the first one I’ve missed in many years.  There was always something about the prep for Showcase.  OK, I freaked out a lot and got inside my head and convinced I didn’t know anything.  Yeah, that part wasn’t good but just having something to work towards was the good thing.

They signed me up for a time slot with one of the coaches who is going to judge Showcase since I’m still in the special club and we get first dibs at the slots.  But I turned it down.  I just don’t know what we’d work on and I’m still not entirely sure that this is a real viable long term option so better to let someone else have the slot.

And now I see that I’ve done 250-ish words on something I said I really didn’t want to talk about.

I also don’t want to talk about work.  I have before when something happened but there is nothing really happening there either.  The higher ups are meeting and planning and painting rosy pictures of the future while we all sit around waiting for projects to work on.  They acknowledge that the workload is not balanced but don’t seem to be moving swiftly to correct it.

Truth be told, there are so many days that I just don’t want to be there.  And it hasn’t been like this before.  But I also don’t really want to go out and try to start over at another company.  So you just try to make it through the day and look for the good where you can find it.

After all, “When you complain you make yourself a victim.  Leave the situation, change the situation or accept it, all else is madness”.

I do my share of complaining here so I can’t say that I’m always able to follow this.  But I don’t want to end up like this one lady who works for me.  I mean everything seems to be doom and gloom.  On many days, she drops into my office (uninvited) and wants to tell me all about some stupid thing her neighbor or someone in her family or some random stranger did.  She whined about not having enough to do but then complained because some of the tasks were too tedious.  I have no idea whether she realizes that she’s one of those people who finds the dark cloud in every silver lining but it gets old.  Honestly, if she didn’t work for me, I’d avoid her at all costs.

I guess I can share one thing I’ve started to try and do more of and that is to get people to see their actions from the side of another person.  So much personal conflict seems to be because people make assumptions about the actions of another person.  Small example of something from today.   Person A is working on a project for Person B.  Person A leaves at the end of the day leaving said project on their desk.  The project was supposed to be moved into the lab at the end of the day but Person B didn’t tell Person A that.  Person B sees the stuff and moves it into the lab.  Person A comes in the next morning to an empty desk and is a bit freaked out.  Person B tells me “but I sent an email”.  To which I said, “that’s good but if you walk in and see something missing on your desk, are you going to (a) try to find it right away or (b) ignore it and go about your business including logging in and checking email.”  And Person B said “oh, I see your point”.   In that case, something like a post it in a highly visible place to let Person A know what was going on was a slightly better way of communicating.

But then I don’t know how interesting that type of stuff is.  Its not all that interesting to me which is why I don’t like talking about it.

So now I’ve run out of examples of things I don’t really want to talk about.  Guess I’ll just wait and see if life offers up something else to talk about.  I kind of enjoy doing this but I really think I do this best when I’ve got something interesting to talk about.  And right now, most of my life just isn’t that interesting.  It is kind of in a holding pattern – circling forever like a plane waiting for clearance.

Which just made me think of this, so I’ll leave you with something that is silly but makes me laugh.

 

 

3 comments

  1. I understand what you mean. I also feel I am in a holding pattern as I am between trips and until I finish this bout of traveling I am really just maintaining, not really moving towards anything.

    I do worry a little about where you are right now with regards to dance. As you said, there just doesn’t seem to be a viable long-term solution and I truly hope it doesn’t lead to you leaving the dance world behind. You’ve probably also ready considered this, but is there a studio C option? Perhaps you have outgrown both studios (or they have gone in a direction you don’t want to go in), and looking at other options (even if you don’t go with them) might help….

    1. When I want to be optimistic, I do know that the Famous Franchise can accelerate the growth curve of an instructor. I saw that with the Body Double, Kid T and even Sunny. It does depend on how motivated the person is though.
      Oh, and I’m keeping my eyes open for other options. There are a few that might be worth exploring.

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