No Flowers This Sunday

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Shopping for Mother’s Day was easy for me.  Mom wasn’t into chocolate or other sweet stuff and she loved flowers so it was just a matter of finding just the right arrangement.  Mums were off limits.  Honestly, if we screwed up and had mums in the arrangement, she’d still tell us how nice they were.  Over the years, I’ve used several different places because I didn’t want to send the same stuff over and over.

And when you shop online and provide an email, these places will forever after send you reminders.  Oh, I know you can turn them off but they are mostly harmless and easily deleted.  Still, it does make it impossible to forget that Sunday is Mother’s Day.  But this year I won’t be sending anyone flowers.

We had a group lunch yesterday and the topic just turned to Mother’s Day and what people were doing.  I had to sit in silence because it really is now just another day.  Except that it isn’t.  I’m just guessing here but I’d bet the “first” events after a passing are the toughest.  And maybe Mother’s Day is just the toughest of them all since there is so much advertising that you couldn’t miss it even if you wanted to.

It is weird sometimes the things that bring flashbacks.  Maybe it isn’t that weird at all.  I don’t know.  I don’t have a good frame of reference.  But, when Barbara Bush died the other day and they described how former President Bush held her hand, it took me right back to that hospital room in January.  I ended up having to skip over most of the news stories about the funeral because it just dredged up a lot of sadness.

We are doing something as a family in early June.  Mom wasn’t really a fan of teaching but she was a big proponent of education and, in retirement, she got heavily involved in a faculty group.  They were well represented at her memorial and that group was one of two that she said donations could be given in lieu of flowers.  Well, they got enough to establish a small scholarship in her name and we were all invited to the tea where they will give it to the lucky winner.  We’ve been invited to say a few words as well.  I know my brothers will jump on that opportunity so I may pass.  I think it will be a little strange being there with her being gone.

Happy Mother’s Day Mom.

2 comments

  1. Oh, sweetheart, I’m sorry. Yes, the ‘firsts’ are the toughest after a loss. I lost my father when I was a few days from turning 14. I’m sending you (((hugs))) because I truly do understand what you’re going through

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