Healing the Healer

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There are multiple sites that deal with Myers/Briggs and personalities and they have similar but different descriptions of the various types.  A couple of them describe the INFP (me) as a healer and some speak of the Healer Idealist.  Last week was a true example for me and it also revealed the cost of being that type of person.

I spent most of the week just out talking with my team.  I’ve already discussed Monday but it carried forward through the rest of the week.  And not to cheer lead about the future or complain about the past but to acknowledge what we’ve lost and to try and talk about how we are going to put the pieces back together and move on.  By the end of the week, when some unexpected thing came up, the one person I kind of expected to freak out was the one saying that we’d make it work.

In another context, I had someone tell me that the got confidence and calmness just from me being in the room during a conference call.  That felt a little weird but I think there is some truth to that.  Maybe it is just some hidden thing that when I’m at my best I can be a strong positive influence on people.  I do know that I have a limited pool of reserved.  It is like I have to expend a significant amount of energy trying to counteract the bad vibes and by Friday I was done.  It meant a quiet Friday night just trying to recharge.

Saturday helped as well.  Summer has decided it doesn’t want to go quietly into the night and Saturday we had temperatures well above what you’d expect this time of year.  It was weird since the trees are getting into full color but it still felt much more like June than October.  Getting out in the sun and warm weather truly helped.

But now reality sets in and it is Sunday night and I’ll be faced with getting up and going back in to work in just a few hours.  None of the activities on my to do list (technically I don’t have one of those so I just have a jumbled mess of things to do floating around in my head) are exciting or compelling.  I feel like running away and avoiding the whole thing.  Only I know that isn’t really an option.  There is still work to be done and rifts to heal and a team to get back together.  So I put aside my fantasies about being like the guy in Office Space (“Looks like you’ve been missing a lot of work lately.”  “Well, I wouldn’t exactly say I’ve been missing it.”)

Right now, the best thing about work is that it pays for my dance passion.  I suppose I will eventually have to rediscover my passion but that won’t happen until we get a better view of the other changes coming our way.

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