Over the last few days, I’ve started a few posts but nothing made it to the end. The ideas were out there and I’d grab one and play with it but it wouldn’t coalesce into anything. So, eventually, I’d run out of steam and end up with a half-finished post and no clear thoughts on how to finish it up. The words would start to flow but they’d dry up and what was a river became a dry creek bed. Probably my mind is on work a bit too much but I’ll have more to say about that at the end. That is, presuming this post actually makes it that far.
I was going to call this writer’s block but then I got into an argument with myself. Is this really writing and can I really call myself a writer? It was kind of similar to arguments several of us have had about dancing. When you do something that isn’t your full time career, is there a point where you cross over and can officially call yourself that. Calling yourself a dancer or a writer seems to imply certain things which don’t apply unless you are actually do that as your profession.
With dancing, I came to the conclusion that it was certainly appropriate to call myself a dancer. I mean I’ve invested a lot of time and effort and there is certainly a great deal of passion for it. You could certainly modify it to say I’m an amateur dancer which is probably more accurate but, clearly I am a dancer. Personally, I’d love to just refer to myself as a dancer who has a side job to afford the lessons but I haven’t gotten there yet.
A writer is a bit more of a bridge to cross. The obvious question is whether you’ve published anything but that feels too restrictive. It would be similar to saying that you can’t be a dancer unless you’ve won a competition. When people think writers, they think books and magazine and poems and stuff like that. Having limited myself to blog posts detailing the ins and outs of my life, it would seem that I wouldn’t qualify.
On the other hand, I’ve written 741 posts as of this one. (Seriously, I’ve found the time to compose 741 little stories about the not so exciting details of my life.) That’s a whole lot of words. Put them all together and you’d have a pretty thick book that would take some time to get through. Now, I’m not recommending that anyone try. If you did sit down to read it all at once, you’d probably read a lot of similar themes and you’d probably come away wondering “Is this guy ever going to get his stuff together?”
I do try to make these posts as interesting as possible with a little humor and a lot of dated pop culture references thrown in for good measure. And, since I know there are people out there reading (I can hear you out there you lurkers!!), I must be doing something that keeps some of you coming back. So, screw it, I’m a writer and I was having a bit of writer’s block. I guess I could say blogger since that’s what I do and that might eliminate any confusion. But, on the other hand, why draw a line? Its writing whether it’s in a book or just a series of web pages.
So I guess that makes me a dancer and a writer with a side job to make them both possible.
Well, maybe I should give you some dance news since most of you probably just tune in for that. After all, this is nominally a dance blog and someone has to keep the lights on in the village. (There are others doing that as well, I know this isn’t a solo act but that line just came to me and I had to use it)
Last night was Studio B Monday so it was Salsa and West Coast Swing. Both routines are coming along although there are still parts where I’m not entirely sure what I’m doing. I keep meaning to stop Mindy and ask but, by the time I remember, we’ve moved on and then I can’t recall what my problem was. I do like the Salsa even with all the arm movements. I sometimes struggle with getting my arms and feet to work together but, most of these moves are relatively natural so it just kind of happens. And, then once you’ve done it a couple of times, it does become almost automatic. This is in contrast to some other parts because I still turn the wrong way from time to time and I have turned her in the wrong direction as well. I guess I’m directionally challenged. We walked through the Salsa a couple of times but then tried to do it to music and the wheels came off a bit. The routine isn’t locked into muscle memory so, when we do a slow walk through, I can think about what comes next. But, the music is too fast and there isn’t time to think so I forget thing and get behind. Still, we’ve got a good two months before Showcase, so there is still time.
And part of this is just the learning process. I’ve used the phrase “things slow down” before. I’ve heard it said for athletes – mostly in football when rookies struggle early. They’ll talk about the game slowing down for them meaning that they can adapt to the speed and pace of the players on the other team. Same concept applies to dance. When you first learn some of the faster dances, they feel insanely fast when you first try to do them to music. Eventually, as you get comfortable with the steps, it is easy to keep up. That happened to me when I learned Mambo. The first song we started with seemed so fast. But, after doing Mambo for some time, I realized that the first song was actually slow for a Mambo. I expect the same thing will eventually happen with Salsa.
The good thing about last night’s lesson is that the time just flew by. It can be intense but I love it when you are so into what you are learning that there is no time to look at the clock and the hour just zooms by.
I promised to talk a little more about work and I’m going to take it in a strange direction so hang in there. When there is this much uncertainty, there are a range of reactions. I’ve seen a couple of people who seem to be ignoring everything and continuing on as if nothing was going to happen. At first, I thought those folks were in denial. You should never assume that your job is safe and it is just the prudent thing to do to prepare and be ready just in case.
But, I’ve also listened to someone who told me they aren’t worried because whatever happens was meant to be and they’ll be a good.
To be clear, I’m not a particularly religious person. So I’ve never fully understood it when someone speaks of trusting their faith to make a certain issue work out. I think I can start to see how that could provide someone with peace of mind. I’ve worked here longer than I expected to and I’ve met a lot of great people and I’ve participated in the development and launch of some good things. I’ve got a track record of accomplishments and, for the most part, I’ve stayed true to who I am. That will either fit with the direction they want to take the company or it won’t. I can’t change the decisions that have already been made. Whatever will be will be. I’ll be fine no matter what the outcome so, maybe whatever decision is made is for the best. Yeah, I could see if you were able to truly believe that then the actual decision loses any of its power to impact your life.
(I did this earlier in the day and set it aside. To tell the truth, I’m not really happy with. Think there was potential but then it just started rambling and going off on tangents. Well, then again, I’m not a professional so why hold high expectations. With that thought, I decided to go ahead an post it anyway)