With a Little Help

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I’ll try to keep this short since I think I’ve been flooding the zone with posts and, every now and then, I need to stop so people can catch up.  Can’t help it – sometimes there are just too many words in my head.

Interesting thing happened at the end of last night’s group class.  I was changing out of my shoes when this guy came over to talk to me.  He’s been around for awhile and I haven’t given him a name yet since he really hasn’t figured in any major story arc.  His dance bio in brief is that he started with The Statue and then she left abruptly and he kind of got shuttled around until my breakup with Z when I moved first to the Body Double and then to Kid T and he worked mainly with Z.  He’s done some things with Kid T but Z is his primary instructor.

He’s been to two Big Dance Events and must have enjoyed them since he is gearing up for #3 in August.  If I were still going, then we might have more stories since it would be nice to have another guy to talk with during the down time.  But that’s for another time.

Anyway, he’s also picking up country dancing and is planning on doing one of the competitions at the Big Dance Event so Z is giving him a crash course in the country dances he doesn’t do.  Remember that I still believe many of those were just made up to fill out the slots in country dancing.  It would make for a short event if all you did was two step.

So, he sits next to me and wants to ask my advice on something.  I guess he’s looking to spread some of his dances out a bit more and work with Kid T so he wanted to know if I thought she was better at smooth or rhythm.  That’s an easy choice – rhythm for sure.  Specifically, he started asking about technique and whether she’s good at teaching it and presenting it in a way that was understandable.  He briefly talked about how he’s having trouble learning and retaining some of the new stuff and even said something about feeling like he’s hit a wall.  And, here I thought I was the only one who felt my dance progress has hit a stall.

He even talked about getting frustrated on lessons and sometimes having that frustration bubble up.  Must be something in the air since that’s been my issue at times as well.  But he wants technique and not choreography and my issues with Kid T have been mostly with choreography.

Part of me then started to worry just a bit.  He’s a nice guy and really seems to enjoy dancing and sometimes those types can be taken advantage of.  He may honestly have an interest in country dancing or it may be that he enjoyed the dances he was doing and that made him an easy mark to get talked into doing more dances and even a competition.

There is always a fine line here.  I had a coach tell me that if you waited until you were ready, you’d never do a comp and I agree with that.  But OwnerGuy and Z seem to have the philosophy that you get on the floor no matter what stage the dance is in because then you can figure out how to fix it.  There’s some validity there but I think you have to gauge the person.  Someone like Tex wants to do everything and so you can throw new things at him and he’s ready to go.  With other people, there is an inverse relationship between comfort with the dance and stress about the event.  And they have to get to an equilibrium where the stress is manageable even if they aren’t fully comfortable with the dance.  Yes, a big event is going to be stressful but we all have enough stress in our lives that we don’t need a hobby that is going to magnify it.  And I worry they are just pushing him too hard and that this isn’t really being done for him.

Well, I said I’d keep this short but now for something completely different.  I saw a post on another site that started with this quote “A flower does not think of competing with the flower next to it.  It just blooms.”

This is not a knock on that site or the post since it was some good stuff about not comparing yourself to others but that quote just hit me kind of funny.  There is probably the reaction that they hope for which is to follow the analogy and just bloom without worrying about the other flowers (people) around you.

But, depending on your personality (thinker/feeler), you could probably have these two reactions:

  1.  Yes, but we aren’t flowers.  Flowers don’t have brains and so a flower can’t possibly be aware of other flowers.  Asking me to be a flower is just stupid.
  2. Well, how do you know that flowers don’t compete with each other.  Have you ever asked them?  (INFP logic at its best and yes I actually thought this)

OK, time to stop rambling.  Think I went on longer than planned.


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