Showing up When it Matters

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There’s been a lot going on this week as the last minute prep for Showcase continues.  Just wasn’t anything really worth writing about since I figured you didn’t want to hear about my freaking out which is what I’ve been doing most of the week.  I reach for things and they just aren’t in my memory so I kick myself for forgetting these routines because “I should have them down cold by now”.  Why do I think that?  Because I set unreasonable expectations for myself and I don’t want to get to Showcase and look like a complete idiot.  That’s your recap of the week that was.  Oh, and I didn’t mention that Kid T was sick on Wednesday which just took a day away from preparation.

Last night was the studio rehearsal party where all of us brave souls who are doing routines were given an opportunity to practice them in front of a friendly audience.  I had my usual lesson right before and we were focused on the open routines and then touched on the routines to give me some practice going into the evening.  There were assorted mistakes and fumbles in each and every one and pieces and parts that I just couldn’t remember.  It all made me just want to scream “I CAN’T DO THIS” and run from the studio never to return.  Well maybe not that dramatic but it was close.

Come to the party and there was some open dancing before the first round of solos.  OwnerGuy had put me last in each group.  I figured he did that in the second group to keep me at the party as long as possible.  I like the parties but I tend to stay only until I think I’ve become a sweaty mess and then I figure I’m too disgusting to dance with so I sneak out.  After a particularly tough lesson and because we are having a beat of an early heat wave, the studio wasn’t particularly cool and I was pretty much already a mess before the party started.  The ladies still seemed to want to dance with me so I guess I wasn’t as bad as I thought.

Well, we get to the first dance and Z announces it is the Argentine Tango which is the one I’m most worried about.  Turns out I had very little to worry about.  It might have been the safe environment and the fact that I’ve done so many solos at the studio but my confidence just seemed to show up.  I hit the opening which was a place I’ve struggled before.  We almost ran out of space and I had one place where I had to wait because I moved too soon but nobody figured it out so it ended up going much better than I expected.

The Mambo went even better.  We got a bit too far apart in one place but I closed it up.  The head roll I do went perfectly and seemed to be a real crowd pleaser.  Got a bit ahead of the timing but Kid T brought me back.  But it was a successful run.  If I perform it like that on Sunday, I’ll be happy.

There’s a new couple there who went to the last Showcase and are doing their first solo this time around.  He really seems to enjoy watching me because he was all over me after both telling me how good they were.  Had another lady tell me that I make it look so easy.  I thought that was a nice bit of feedback.  I guess the hours of practice do pay off in the end.

So, both routines went better than I thought.  I was happy with both although I know I can do better with the Argentine Tango.  And people enjoyed watching which is always nice for me to hear.  Someday, I will learn because I invest all this energy and worry over not being able to do things and then, when it counts, I’ve been able to pull it off.  Could probably do so much better without the freak outs, but, alas, true confidence appears to elude me.  I’m just glad it showed up when it did.

To catch you up on other things, I’m starting some Salsa with Mindy at Studio B.  I’ve done a little but not enough and I like Mambo so I should like Salsa.  And, it isn’t a dance I do at the Famous Franchise so it won’t cause brain cramps in switching between studios.  Oh, and I signed up for another tour at the Famous Franchise and I’m still in the exclusive club that offers very few real benefits.  But we have a plan to work on advancing in Silver and refreshing the closed routines.  And exploring some country dancing to give me more material for solos.

One last lesson tonight to touch up on various things.  Showcase starts at 9:30 on Sunday morning so I’ll have to be up early to get the dog walked and to get ready to be there on time.

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