They Care (But Why??)

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I made my return to the working world today.  There is a part of me that hates coming back to work after being sick.  I want to just sneak back in, sit down and start in on the mountain of email like I wasn’t really gone.

That wasn’t in the cards today.  It was interesting that the common theme from a lot of people was that they were worried about me.  Huh?  I mean I know I’m not getting any younger and this illness was out of the norm but I wasn’t at death’s door or anything.  Still, these were genuine expressions of concern and some real caring and I honestly was a little confused by some of it.  Had one guy try to mother me and tell me to take it easy and not go exercise.  Told him I’d try but I’m still going to hit the gym tomorrow.

There’s a little of the Woody Allen line in me about not wanting to belong to a club that would have me as a member.   Just a little self esteem thing I guess that kind of lurks below the surface.  I like to think of myself as a good person but I have my doubts.  So I get some of these real expressions of caring about my well being and, in the back of my head, I’m thinking “why do you care so much”.  I mean there’s nothing special about me.  Except perhaps there is.  Or this could all still be the illness talking.  It was just one of those things that was slightly weird but, at the end of day, it did feel good to think that there are those at work who were genuinely concerned about me.

Of course, there were those who just wanted an opportunity to share stories about themselves.  You know the type.  “I was worried about you.  I remember when I got that upper respiratory thing that put me in the hospital for several days …..”.  OK, to be charitable, they may have been relaying their experience to show that they were concerned I’d end up the same way.  Now, they could have just asked more questions but some people like to talk and I’m mostly wired to listen so it works out.  That’s also why I come here because I can spout off without being interrupted.  As Toby Keith sang, sometimes I want to talk about me!!  (Well that might not have been the actual line but you get the point)

I still am not all the way back.  Today was filled with coughing fits and it was that cough that sounds like you might be bringing up a lung but it was actually a good thing since it was productive and breaking stuff up.  Still, its frustrating when you launch into a fit and still can’t seem to get it all.  On a gross aside (you were warned), how much freaking mucous can one person really generate.  Can’t we find a way to shut it off.  It feels like it turned into concrete in my lungs which is just now being broken into pieces.

But I’ve also got the weird food cravings.  I don’t know if you get this after being sick.  I mean I was eating the entire time but nothing really tasted all that great.  Today, I just felt the need for peanut butter.  Why?  I have no idea.  But I figure that when you’re getting over something and your body decides it wants something, there must be a reason so you might as well comply.  (I’m sticking with that same excuse for the jelly beans that I also seemed to need)

Well, that’s all I’ve got.  No dancing until Wednesday but sometimes there are words that just have to be released and this is my platform for doing that.  I’m hoping to have better content later in the week.






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