Receding Panic

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Monday is Halloween and, while we don’t get many kids, I still enjoy handing out candy.  I’ve got a soft spot for the real young ones who are just starting to figure this thing out.  Anyway, Monday is my weekly lesson at Studio B so I told Mindy I couldn’t make it so we arranged for a short time Friday (30 minutes) to come in and run through both dances.

Most of last week was peak panic which happens and then it twists my brain into knots and I start forgetting things I know and start imagining all the things that could go wrong and just assume they all will.  At some point, that starts to recede and I get to a place where I start to accept that I can do this.

Friday night at studio B was pure chaos.  The studio had a Halloween party that night (I didn’t stay) and several people were doing dress rehearsals so there was all kinds of activity.  Mindy was flying around getting things ready and I signed up for two slots on next Friday to do the final run through.

While all that was going on, I pulled out my notes and started reading through each routine.  I forced myself to type them both out going from Mindy’s notes and things I had put down.  It’s an odd mix of steps and counts and feet and other little hints.  Basically, anything I thought I needed to help visualize the routine.  This is really where I’m at my best.  There are steps I can physically practice but I get so much more out of just running it through in my mind.  That works even better than a video.  It only works when I’ve reached a point where the routine is engraved in my memory enough so that I can feel the steps as I work through them in my head.

There were other students on the floor when we started and despite the noise and crowd, we just worked through both of them with no real hitches.  Was it up to my standards?  Of course not but then Derek Hough would have a hard time living up to the standards I set for myself.  Curse of the perfectionist.  But I can get around the floor and make them look reasonable.

At one point, we had to take a break to watch a group do their practice.  She said we could do a couple of additional runs when they finished if I wanted to.  So I’m watching this routine and it was clear that everyone was just having fun and some people were really getting into it.  When I haven’t retreated so far into my head, that type of thing usually leaves me in a good mood. and I was in a good place so it did.

I was talking with another instructor.  Funny thing is he started as a student at the Famous Franchise but left and ended up dancing at another studio and it grew into a job for him.  He had done one Showcase at the Famous Franchise so he asked about the set up and said their Showcase was much more low key and it looked like it would be.  But, with all the noise and people, it felt more like a dance studio.  And with people having fun, it felt more welcoming.  Yeah, I’m weird about these vibes but it is what it is.

At the end, I decided I didn’t need additional practice that night.  We set up one more appointment for Friday during the day since I’m taking off from work.  But I’m feeling more relaxed and ready than I have before.  Who knows what will happen over the week but I think I’m going to be OK.

In the passing strange department, the Famous Franchise started following my Instagram site.  I believe Z is the main person in charge of the digital footprint of the Famous Franchise.  About half of what I post to Instagram ends up on Facebook but I like to use Instagram to tag photos I take at various places.  Guess I like leaving a digital trail.  But there are no dance related things there.  It is probably just me reading too much into things but they don’t do a lot of things through Instagram and I’m not following the studio so I wouldn’t see them anyway.  Could be one of those attempts to get a reciprocal follow.  Probably nothing but just seemed a bit odd to me.

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