Viewed Through a Distorted Lens

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Well the magic wore off and I turned back into a doubting pumpkin.  Part of it was just the fact that I was tired and it was rainy and gloomy and it influenced my mood.  Some days, I look forward to dancing.  Some days, it just feels like a grind and that was last night.

Kid T and I did Viennese Waltz and Swing and I got through the routines but nothing “felt” great.  Certainly could not recapture the moment from the other night.  The lesson with Sunny went a little better.  We started in on the Argentine Tango.  I told them I would do some heats at the upcoming Showcase but only if they made it interesting.  Got my wish because these are more complex steps and we got half way through it.

Then, I paid for Showcase and now I’m wondering what kind of person agrees to try and learn some new dance steps three weeks before Showcase.  What am I, a glutton for punishment?  I’m already doubting stuff I’ve done for months and then I go and agree to something brand new with only two lessons left to practice.  Kid T made some noise about me trying to get in more often.  Couldn’t tell her that I’ve got another Showcase to worry about.

Today, I stumbled across something that I might have read before but this was really the right time to read it.  It was on dancecompreview if you want to search for it.  I’d link to them but their blog is big and showy and professional and I don’t belong in the same neighborhood.  I’m mentioning it to give them credit.

It was a list of things that show you might have a distorted perception of yourself. Among the highlights:

  • You received compliments about your dancing with skepticism.  (So true)
  • You find yourself focusing on the flawas in your appearance and technique, and ignoring what looks good.  (Guilty as charged but mainly because nothing really looks good :))
  • You often leave a practice feeling sad, depressed, or angry at yourself.  (Umm .. well sometimes but usually there’s a good reason)

There were more but these were the ones that really fit.

There were some things listed to try and change course.  I feel like I’ve been down this road before and maybe I’ve started some of this but never managed to carry it through long enough.

The biggest thing was to find at least one thing you did well after each practice.

I guess that makes some sense.  It was kind of like my magic moment from the other night.  When I just focused on that, I was pretty positive.  I just couldn’t hold on to it.  But even a bad and stressful lesson is going to have some shining moments and if the last thing you do is focus on something that went right, then maybe that would start to change your focus.

Guess its worth a shot.

I don’t really remember much about last night’s lessons.  But the funny thing is that my arms and shoulders were a little sore this morning.  It took me a bit to recognize that this was probably a good thing.  Had lessons in Viennese Waltz and Quickstep and the group class was Waltz which means a significant amount of time holding a frame.  Given where I was sore, it must have meant that I was holding the frame for a significant amount of time.

Its not much but it is something.  Back to the studio today for another lesson with Kid T.  Not sure what she’s got planned but I’ll try to find something positive to focus on.


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