Frustrations

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Yesterday was another frustrating day at the Famous Franchise.  It probably didn’t help that I was in the midst of a pretty nasty sinus headache.  The Tylenol and Advil were not helping and it was one of those on the border of causing some nausea.  Nothing real serious but enough so your stomach joins in the whole “I don’t feel well” thing.

Was working with Kid T on Fox Trot.  Actually, the only reason I went to the studio is because I thought OwnerGuy was going to be on our lesson but I had my signals crossed because today was a day to fix some things and Tuesday he’s going to join us to watch and correct.

It is hard to say where or why things got off track.  There are parts of it where I still don’t feel comfortable with the footwork and she starts in on alignments and where parts need to rotate.  It was a bit like trying to solve differential equations when you still need work on basic algebra (sorry my math geek made an appearance).  I showed at the Big Dance Event that I can maneuver the closed routines but that’s because I’ve got those down and I know where certain parts can be changed.  When you don’t know the footwork, it is a little hard to start thinking about alignments and rotation.  I told her this and she said that I needed to give myself some credit because I did it at the Big Dance Event so she knew I knew the footwork.  OK, I got through the routine but that is whole other place from knowing it.  There are places where I can muddle through and then get back on track but it does not mean that things are locked down.  I know she’s trying to get me to be optimistic and not get down on myself but, between the two of us, I think I have a better handle on what I know and what I don’t.  Besides, one of the worst things you can do to me is try to invalidate my feelings.  Hate that.

Then, we ended up in a certain spot where we had ended up during practice and I start to go into the next part and she tells me that it needs to rotate a different way.  This lead to a rather silly argument because she starts telling me that it was because we started on a different part on the floor.  Then I said that we ended up in the same spot we did before so why is it now moving in a different direction.  She starts in telling me that it wasn’t the same place and that it was different because we were moving in the right direction.  At this point, I just started to feel like I was back at the beginning and what was the point of doing this if it was being done wrong before.  In the cooler, less emotional mood I’m in now, it seems a little less of a problem.  But that’s not where I was yesterday for a lot of other reasons and I just started to go through the motions just to get the lesson over with.  She stops and asks me if I’m frustrated and I tell her yes.  (Couldn’t really find the words to explain why – just all those deep feelings).  We did manage to work through it and keep going.

The other part that didn’t help was when she was talking about OwnerGuy and how he could fix things because there were parts she really didn’t understand either.  Now, I give her credit for saying it but, between that and yesterday, I’m wondering how am I supposed to learn these advanced things if my instructors are learning along with me.  If we are dependent on OwnerGuy stepping in and fixing things then I’m always going to be behind the curve.  It just made that whole “support staff” thing more real but not as funny.  Like he does just enough to keep me happy and working with Kid T and Sunny while his focus is on the real dancers.   Yeah, I know that’s not the case.  But I can easily get to those places pretty quickly.

But, if we put all the bad stuff behind and take an objective look, she did fix two things by better explaining the footwork.  The made the run around much better and there is a part at the end where we both turn under our arms and end up facing each other in some kind of fan position.  She broke the footwork down in detail so I understood each step which is really what I needed and I was no longer losing balance.

So, objectively, there are only two parts where I still feel lost.  If OwnerGuy can fix those, then I’ll actually be in a position to start doing more reps with more confidence and then I’ll be in a better position to deal with alignments and rotation of certain parts.  It wasn’t the best lesson in the world but there was progress made and the Fox Trot is actually better than I thought it was.  Unless OwnerGuy sees other mistakes that need correcting on Tuesday.  But I won’t worry about that until then.

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