Well I thought I was done but there are things still swirling around in my head and a couple of things to talk about.
I think some of you have similar experiences but, for me, there is always some kind of post competition hangover. This one is much worse than previous ones. But it is also different. I’ve had the post Showcase blues before because you are coming down from the high of performing and you realize you’ve got several months before you get the next fix. At some of the past competitions, I’ve also been trying to sort through all the emotions that the event stirred up. This one did that as well but it still feels different.
Already, it doesn’t seem like it has only been a week since we showed up for the opening party at the Big Dance Event. There was a montage created by the professional photographers at the event showing scenes from that opening night all the way through the pro competition on Saturday night. It has been on continuous feed at the studio both nights I’ve been there. And, even though I’ve seen it multiple times, I’m still drawn to it. As the video moves forward it brings back different memories of each day and it is like I can put myself back into that time and place and experience it all over again.
A dance comp really is a fantasy world and it is easy to get swept up into it. And, when you are having a good time, who wants to leave a fantasy world? Not to belabor this point (too late) but the feel of this event was so different from the last. Just having a team from the studio to support each other and be there for each other made all the difference. Yes, there were still screw up and nerves and mistakes but none of them seemed as bad because of the support. Yes, we were all there as competitors but we were also a team and there is something about a group dynamic like that which really appeals to me.
I know it is a little silly but it has made it a bit harder to focus at work since my mind just wanders back to the comp. I think it might have helped if Kid T hadn’t gone on vacation. We had a little time to discuss next steps but I probably need someone to lay out a plan so I can start focusing on the future rather than having my head stay in the clouds and the past which is where it is right now.
So the other thing to talk about is that I got little cards in the mail from Kid T and Sunny. Think she mailed them because I wasn’t originally going to be in the studio on Tuesday. Kid T has the official Famous Franchise Thank You card where she thanks me for giving her the chance to dance at the Big Dance Event. And she goes on about how well we did and how proud she is and how she can’t wait to keep working on the open routines and how much she is looking forward to doing our routine at Showcase. And she closes with a line about hoping to go to more Big Dance Events with me. I don’t know whether this is Famous Franchise policy or whether she just does it or a little of both but the sentiment feels genuine to me.
Sunny sent me a smaller blank card. I don’t think she could use the official Famous Franchise Thank You card. She also talks about being proud of how I did and congratulates me on getting back into the Big Dance Events. She also talks wanting to do the Quickstep at the Showcase and seeing how much further I can progress. It is again making me feel like some down on their luck person who she’s picking out of the gutter and polishing off and getting me back to my former glory. Sounds like a movie but I can’t think of the appropriate one. It isn’t a bad thing, it just can feel a bit strange to be someone’s project. It feels genuine but it still makes me want to ask “why are you doing this”.
Now, here’s an example of some of my inconsistencies. Working with Z, I so wanted to hear her say she was proud of me but it never came because that just wasn’t here style. Here, I’ve got these two young ladies saying it and it just feels a little strange and weird for reasons I can’t quite figure out yet. It is probably due to the age difference because I feel like I’m the one who should be saying it to them as the older, more experienced person. Is it a bad thing that they are saying it?? No. Even if it seems a bit awkward, it is still nice to hear.
There’s a party at the studio tonight. I’m a little tired but I think I will still drag myself there. Maybe there will be a post out of it.