Your Cheatin’ Heart

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So OwnerGuy actually finished the Cha-Cha open routine and Kid T had me work on the ending at last night’s lesson.  That means he has now finished Tango and Cha-Cha which gives me four complete including Swing and Rumba.  Kid T tells me that she’ll get on him to finish the Fox Trot as well and that would give us five.  Oh, and Sunny tells me on the lesson that she’s going to be working with him to add more to our Quickstep for next time.

Now this has got me all confused and feeling a little guilty.  I was unhappy with my progress because I wasn’t seeing OwnerGuy follow through on anything and suddenly he’s become Mr. Follow Through.  Is this just a temporary burst of energy or does it mean that he actually listened and took what I said seriously.  Should I have just waited a little more before agreeing to work with Studio B?  I don’t think so.  It still feels like the right decision to get some work in with someone else and get a different perspective on things but now it really does feel a little more like cheating.

I was going to leave last night after my lesson but I decided to stay for the group which was Bolero.  Fortunately, OwnerGuy picked a step I knew so I could focus more on some of the footwork technique and other things I got from a coaching lesson.  I still struggle with the whole push off and lowering on the first step but I did end up finding a nice balance of knee movement for most of group.  At one point, I actually started to get into the feel of the Bolero and that doesn’t happen too often.

I did decide to leave after group even though the male/female ratio seriously worked in my favor.  I debated but I decided my knees needed the rest.  The right knee seems to be responding to the therapy and it feels much better.  I’ve still got some swelling from time to time in the left but it doesn’t hurt as much.  But, I decided the best thing was to not push it just yet so I called it a night.  As I was leaving, I told Kid T I’d see her on Tuesday which now seems a long time from now and it was an admission that I had other plans both for tonight and Monday.  That’s where the guilt kind of crept in.  I shouldn’t feel guilty.  There really isn’t anything wrong with taking lessons at multiple places especially when they are in different dances.  Still, I just ended up feeling a little off for some reason.

Kid T continues her positive boost my confidence approach and she keeps scoring these little wins.  Snippet of an actual conversation.  Not sure how we got around to this because it all went out of my head when she said “you dance awesome” to which I said “I dance OK”.  To which she said something like “no, you are really good and you need to give yourself more credit”.  So then I just moved on instead of continuing the argument.  Yes, I know I should give myself more credit.  Just not always sure how to do that.

So I want to come back to a rather long comment made by my blog friend Marian.  I believe she took exception to my comment about extroverts.  Do I sometimes take subtle shots at them?  Yeah, I do.  I’ve got nothing against extroverts but I do have a problem with the fact that there is so much subtle and not so subtle pressure to be like them.  As if we introverts need to change who we are to better fit in.  I think Susan Cain’s book kind of opened my eyes a lot to the fact that we introverts add value just the way we are.  When, I take shots at extroverts, it is more the extrovert idea that I’m mocking.

Yes, there are many degrees along the introvert/extrovert scale.  There are many introverts who aren’t really interested in any type of conversation and others who only want to talk about one topic.  Got a guy at work who won’t turn off if anything sci-fi or super hero comes up.  He can go into incredible detail about these things which is frankly as boring to me as small talk.

No, the point I was making is that it can be very tough for those of us on the introverted scale who want to engage in something beyond small talk.  It can be very hard to keep up with those extroverts who like to fill the silence with more talk so they talk over you when you are either trying to think of how to respond or are in the middle of a response.  Now, this may just be me, but when that happens too many times with the same person, I mentally write them off because they don’t appear to be interested in what I’m saying.  So I’ll engage them but they’ll never get beyond the surface.  That was part of the reason for believing that introverts probably are well represented in the blogosphere because we can express deep things here without having someone change the subject on us.

I speak about my experiences with those I could easily type as extroverts.  Is it true of all extroverts?  Certainly not.  Has it been mostly true for me with people I could easily type as extroverts?  Yes, that has been my experience and that’s what I was writing from.



One comment

  1. Wall & All – I totally get what W. means when he says say certain folks don’t give him a chance to breathe, let alone think. I’m fortunate in that all three of my besties are introverts of one kind or another. I’ve asked them to let me know when I’m stressing them because I really want to respect their boundaries and needs. I’ve learned a lot from them. One asked me not to assume she wants to introduced imnediately to everyone I know at at a given party. Another wanted me to understand refusing 2/3 of my invitations to come out and play does NOT nean she loves me less. The third is a very private person and needs a lot of time to process “heavy” stuff. It took her 3 months to tell me her latest grandchild has been diagnosed as autism – and I’m her best friend. If I didn’t understand her so well, I’d have been really hurt. Had the shoe been on the other foot, of course, I would have called her as soon as I got the news. I and E are two distinct species, all tight, although there are differences within the groups. Nonetheless, my pals enrich my life greatly, and I like to think I enrich theirs.

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