Little Steps

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Had my first physical therapy session.  The ortho doc figured it couldn’t hurt to try some stretches and strengthening to see if I could take some pressure off the knee.  I do some of this with TrainerGuy but he’s got other things to focus on so having this focus exclusively on the legs is a good thing.

Along with the basic exercises, she got in to feel around both knees.  I guess to get an idea of the soft tissue around it and also to get a feel for the land so to speak.  She did say there was some tightness in some of the muscles which doesn’t shock me.  I don’t think this was supposed to have any therapeutic benefit but it seemed to.  Could just be a placebo effect since my mind was shifting because I was actually doing something about the knee.  Then again, one should not discount the power of physical touch.

The other thing that I know helped was just venting about it last night.  I just read a short snippet about INFP’s and how it isn’t good for us to bottle things up.  It probably isn’t good for anyone but since my feelings and emotions tend to be amped up, trying to push them down and contain them and just press on does not end well.  Again, I’m so happy to have found this little village that puts up with my rants and offers help and support.

I do need to learn the lesson and not let things get to this stage.  It isn’t weakness to admit that things hurt and to listen to my body and back off when I need to.  That is something that I know is at the root of this.  It is why I tried not to make a big deal out of it.  I’ve always worn a brace on my right knee so people see that but it wasn’t a topic of conversation.  Now, of course, it is because it did get so bad that I had to walk off a group class.  It is actually kind of nice that the other students in the studio care enough to ask me about it.  Although the introvert part of me still wants to say – its fine, nothing to see here,  move along.

Yesterday, I forgot to mention that the Quickstep was finally brought up again and Sunny had narrowed it down to two songs and they wanted to work on it for Showstoppers.  Because I cut out of party early, we never set up a lesson or talked any further.  So I decided I would go to group class tonight and get something set up rather than waiting until Tuesday.

As luck would have it, group class was Samba.  This is not a dance I do and it is a dance the requires flexible, bouncy knees.  Kid T was teaching and talking about how you had to land and have your knees bent and made a point of looking to me to say you didn’t have to go really low, just that they needed to be flexed.  I got through the Samba class without any major issues and I iced things when I got home and all is good for now.

I want to give myself credit for something which is out of character but it is about time that I faced up to things that I do well because it is all not a total suckfest.  I have a relatively easy time picking up steps in group class even to dances like this that I don’t do.  Some of it really does seem to come naturally.  Could be my years of experience or maybe I’ve really actually made a dancer out of myself.

Before the group class, we were talking about the Quickstep and Sunny and Kid T were all excited because they told me they had it all down except the beginning and the ending.  Then, they told me that it was my amalgamation from Showcase.  My inner cynical voice chimed in to say “Oh, so you really didn’t do any actual work on this at all then.”  But I kept that to myself.  Maybe they’ve added a couple of twists.  We shall see.

And then Sunny asks if I’d take a lesson after group class to get started on it.  (They like to push)  I told her to wait and see how group class went.  You would all be proud of me but I got through group class and I probably could have done the Quickstep but I decided that I had done enough today between the Samba and the exercises so the best thing was to really call it a night.  She actually understood.

Today was a better day than yesterday.  I know I’ll have the up and down days but I have to remember that it is OK to back off when my body tells me to.  It is not a sign of weakness.  It is not necessary to keep pushing just to prove something to nobody in particular.

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