Here’s my normal process for doing these posts. When something happens that merits writing about (usually an event but sometimes just a random thought), I’ll kind of go over it a bit in my head and get some highlights. Then, I just sit down and start typing and see where the spirit takes me. Sometimes, I have a polished version in my head so I don’t make many edits. Sometimes, what I had originally planned gets discarded and you just get a free flow of words and ideas that generally have some kind of loose connection in my mind. On rare occasions, I’ll get stuck and leave something as a draft and finish it later.
But, I’ve had something in my head and I’ve tried three times to put something together but I can’t make it work. I’ve ended up dumping the drafts and starting all over again. There was a pretty nice Wizard of Oz reference but it I just can’t make it work. This is new to me. I’ve rejected posts before when I’ve gotten into them and realized they either weren’t going anywhere or just weren’t as interesting as I first thought. This is the first time I can remember where I’ve thought I had something to say and haven’t been able to put the words together.
This was going to be another post about the failed relationship with Z. But, since I am starting to believe that nothing happens by accident, I’m taking this as a strong sign that my mind is telling me it is time to move on and stop looking backward. Also, I had a super lesson last night and that has become a good topic for a post.
Here’s all I’m going to say. I don’t know whether this is the next phase of whatever process I’m going through but I’m a little angry at myself. I think back to all the times I defended Z in posts when some of you would point out that maybe it wasn’t cool that she was making fun of my fears all the time. I forged what I thought was an emotional bond with her and that blinded me to the damage that was being caused for far too long. I apologized more times than I care to admit and now I realize that I shouldn’t have to apologize for being me. I’m pretty much OK. I’m not a bad person and I let someone make me feel that way and so that kind of ticks me off. But that’s all I’m going to say on that.
Last night was my first lesson with Kid T. I’ve not formulated a complete plan with OwnerGuy but I want to let Kid T handle the “fun” dances like West Coast Swing and Hustle that I don’t do as part of my nine more competitive dances. And I wanted to do a routine with her for the next Showcase. That will give me three. I hit that goal at the last Showcase and found out I enjoyed it so much that I really want to keep doing it. I love dancing but I’ve apparently got this side of me that wants to perform. I’m as amazed as some of you might be that the introvert wants to get on stage and do solos in front of a crowd but that’s just the way it is.
I told OwnerGuy this as we were working on the original plan forward and he had actually made the point that he saw that side of me in the routines I did with the Body Double and 3 of 3 and he really wanted to see more of that from me. And I was like all “put me in coach”. So I knew this one with Kid T was going to go a little heavier on the entertainment value. I’m fine with doing that as long as we don’t totally go for silliness. There has to be some dancing content as well.
So Kid T had a list of potential songs. Since 80’s music is my thing, they had picked out a nice selection. All of these came out before Kid T was born but I’m going to put that thought out of my mind. She grew up around music and dance and so she knew most of these songs as well. It was funny that she talked about them being rock songs but some of them were really more 80’s New Wave than rock, but I digress.
As I looked over the list, there were some nice choices but there was just one song that spoke to me.
And the winner is ……… (do a drum roll in your head right here) Cheap Sunglasses by ZZ Top.
OK, I love the song but I really picked it for the prop potential. Who wouldn’t want to be doing a West Coast Swing wearing some really gaudy cheap sunglasses? I’m already scouting Amazon for the right look. If I can find something in neon – watch out!
OwnerGuy was on the lesson with us because he is the master choreographer at the studio. He tells me again that he wants to create a character so we have something to play off while doing the dance. Based on past experience, I know they get a little edgy around me when discussing things like this because I do have an aversion to looking totally stupid. Again, I’m going for entertaining but still with good content – not total camp. An actor has to have limits after all.
But if you know the song, it starts with the line “when you wake up in the morning and the light is hurt your head” and we are going with that. For the first part of the song, before the lyrics kick in, I’m sprawled in a chair, asleep, and then I wake up (obviously having done some heavy partying the night before) and shuffle my way over to Kid T who is going to have a little table set up with sunglasses. I’m supposed to pick one put it and then we face the audience and break into our little routine. So we practiced that part and the first part of the routine. It is going to be fun.
At the last Showcase, I did a routine to Drunk on a Plane with 3 of 3. We’re talking about turning this into an unofficial sequel as the aftermath of being drunk on a plane. So I might pull out my pilot’s hat and have it lying across my face when we start the routine. It would be an inside joke that probably not everyone would get but it would be funny to those who did.
Working with Kid T is interesting since she was a kid when I first met her. But she’s already shown me she can be very supportive. During this lesson, OwnerGuy would mock out a section of the routine and then say “now you try it”. Well, I’d do my best but I couldn’t remember it from start to finish which I really didn’t expect to but Kid T was right there to help me through it. And she was genuinely enthusiastic and complementary when I got a step right. I don’t want to draw any conclusions just yet but first impressions are very important and I felt comfortable with her right away and that’s a good start.
I just have to talk with OwnerGuy and nail this plan down and, of course, sign up for more lessons so I can officially get back into the semi-exclusive club that almost everyone in the studio belongs to. He’s let me slide a bit because of the side trip to Boston and then with the break-up, he’s let me have some time to adjust to working with the Body Double on a more regular basis and with Kid T.
But I am more than ready to sign up for more. This past week has been fun. I feel like a huge weight has been lifted off me and I’m ready to move forward.