I’ve mentioned before that so many times my work life becomes a mirror of my dance life where the parts flip and I’m dealing with someone who doesn’t like something I’ve done. Sometimes, these karmic events are useful to understand her side of things. Sometimes they give me good insight. And sometimes they smack me upside the head. After all, how can I possibly be right in both situations? Well, I’m sure I could find a way to rationalize and argue that I am right but when I hear a quote that I’ve used with Z reflected back on me, well it throws me at times.
Here’s the back story. There is a someone who reports to me at work and she made it her business to try and become friends with me. As it turns out, we went through weight loss at the same time which was a natural way to bond and so we started walking together for exercise. She also happens to live very close to me and I used to see her in the park every weekend when I would be walking the dogs. It also turns out that we are both morning people so she’d tend to show up before anyone else which lead to conversations.
Two things you should know about me. First, if you are going to have a conversation with me, get to the point as quickly as possible. I don’t need an enormous number of details and if I do, I’ll ask. Secondly, if you come with faulty logic, I’m going to poke holes in it. This is how I’m wired and while I’m open and will at times listen to someone’s gut feeling, if there is no real logic behind it, I’ll bat it down. There is nothing personal meant by it. I encourage my team to be open with ideas and sharing but the downside is that if you bring ideas to the table, you run the risk of having them shot down although I will always explain why they are shot down.
Well she’s the type who, as she said, “like to throw stuff out there to see what sticks”. So I told her that all I’m doing is slapping down the things that shouldn’t stick. Then she hits me with the “yeah, but it is how you dismiss the ideas that is the problem”. In other words, it is not what I say buy how I say it. Oh, where have I heard THAT before??? Karma just really bitch slapped me there.
So I left it with that I understood what she was saying and I would attempt to watch my snarkiness but I couldn’t give her 100% guarantees that it would never happen again. I did tell her that communication issues involved both parties and that she was taking something in a way I never intended it and that we did a lot of personality related stuff so people could understand that we all do things in a different way and sometimes applying your own filters to someone else s words leads to issues. I will say it was awkward talking with her later in the day because she started in on some other tangent that really wasn’t supported by any real data and wasn’t something we needed to go after but I was trying to measure my words. So now I better understand some of the first few lessons with Z after our last blow up. And I have to take to heart that some of these communication issues are a two way street and I need to stop over interpreting what she says.
On a positive note, we were working on the Country Shuffle routine last night. One of Z’s favorite songs is “Drunk on a Plane” and it fits the Shuffle perfectly. 3 of 3 decided to do our routine to that song which is fine with me. I like most country stuff although I don’t listen to a lot of it so I wasn’t going to have a favorite song to pick. I guess she and OwnerGuy talked about starting the routine with the two of us doing a drunk walk while the first 8 bars played. I was noncommittal last night but today I decided what the hell and that I’m going all on this. I was actually practicing a stagger today at work when one of my people unexpectedly came around the corner and saw me. That was a fun moment but I explained what I was doing. I’m looking at pilot hats and shirts from various websites and I’ve got some ideas for accessories. Oh yes, I’m just not going to worry about what I look like and just have fun with it because the dance is fun and the song is fun so why not just go with it.