So we had more snow this morning and then it turned into the arctic with wind blowing snow all over the place. We didn’t get it as bad as other parts of the country but it still isn’t pleasant and I think you know how I feel about winter by now. In case you don’t, I hate winter. That might not even be strong enough since cold like we had today is simply hell. (As a random aside, I was messing with Ancestory.com this weekend and a couple generations back, I hit part of my family tree with the last name of Snow. Felt like a cruel joke to me). Anyway, it was really difficult to drag myself to the studio today because every part of me was screaming to just stay inside and throw a couple of blankets over me and try to stay warm. But that would lead to inactivity and that leads to other nasty things, so out I went. The good thing about having a relatively long drive to get to the studio is that the car warms up nicely by the time I get there. The bad thing is that just makes it harder to leave the car.
She was finishing up another lesson when I got there and I got to serve as a prop right at the end to illustrate the difference in frame between swing, where you form a V, and other dances where you don’t. I think the studio needs more male instructors but I don’t mind being used as a living mannequin to illustrate things.
Group class was fox trot where we started with a twinkle. Like other group classes, she sometimes will demonstrate something with me when she wants to make a point to everyone. In a way, it is nice that she does this since it shows a level of confidence in my abilities so maybe this is her way of telling me I’m doing something right. Of course, my mind sometimes goes into super analyst mode because I want to do it perfectly so I don’t let her down so I start thinking of all the little pieces that go into making up a step and freaking out on the inside about forgetting something. In thinking about it on the way home, I realized I needed to just take a moment and mentally slap myself while saying “Stop thinking and just dance the step”. It is funny to me that what is a real strength at my job can be such a hindrance when dancing. I remember the quote they posted once “the worst thing a dancer can do is think”. Still trying to work that out and keep the analyst in check.
Our lesson focused on the fox trot routine. Went pretty well but I had a couple of interesting moments where my mind kind of worked against me. We were doing a runaround into a back twinkle and really working on it over and over again. She has her arm around my midsection during the runaround and at one point I must have moved her hand away and she made a comment about it but I really wasn’t aware that I did it. I’ll admit that it wasn’t the most comfortable thing in the world for me so maybe I just reached a point where my subconscious said “Enough”. Yes, I did go there in my head wondering why in the world anyone would want to have an arm around my midsection which was part of the discomfort. The other part was on the back twinkle where my steps really need to be bigger and more forceful. The second one needs to go between her legs and needs to be stronger. This is a common them with me and I could feel myself hesitating at times when I was trying to focus on making the steps bigger. Something about getting into someone’s space that still causes me some problems. But, as they say, the first step is to recognize your problem so maybe this is a good thing. How to get comfortable at it though is another challenge. I’d ask her but I know the answer would basically be to just do it which is probably the only real answer that someone can give.
I do wonder sometimes with my tendency to over think everything and my personal space issues how I’ve managed to make it this far. But, as I’ve said, I’m a work in progress and I guess it is good to have insight into the things that might be holding you back. Just need to figure out how to fix them. Other than that, the lesson was good. Back at it tomorrow even though we have a chance for more snow and it will be just as cold. I really, really hate winter.