Away we go

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Rotten sinus headache today so got up before the alarm leaving a little time before I have to go to work.

The last lesson went well.  Ran through all of the dances in both open and closed and things were clicking again.  We had another talk during the first lesson to clear some more stuff out.  We still don’t quite get each other but it is good to get this stuff out in the open.  The point I tried to make is I don’t have an issue with knowing where I need to work but I have to see progress in order to keep motivated.  I gave her my weight loss example and plus the example of working out and how I can set real goals and how I can see progress.  That’s what keeps me going because I can see that I’m going in the right direction.  With dancing, I don’t have a yardstick.  I don’t know if I’m really getting what she’s saying so it becomes frustrating to go to lesson after lesson and hear “head back” a gazillion times.  It stops being fun and when it is no fun and I don’t sense progress, the frustration builds and it just comes out in ugly ways.

And, yes, I need to get better at not reacting to her feedback on how to make things better.  She wants me to be more enthusiastic and I can work on that.  It is difficult because when you just hear about what you are doing wrong it can be a little deflating.  Look, I know better than anyone that I’ve got a lot left to learn.  But am I doing anything right?  Decided not to go there since that’s just not her style.

But, at this point, I’m ready to go.  My only goal is to enjoy the experience.  And, as I told her, out of all the dances I’m doing, all I really want is to get one positive comment on posture.  Just one.  If I get that, then it tells me I’m moving in the right direction and this grind was worth it.  Will need time after this event to think more about what I want to do.  But that will depend on how this goes.  Off to work and then the real journey begins tonight.

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