Buying things that Fit

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Like me, my wardrobe has evolved over the last year and a half as I’ve dropped weight.  I’ve been wearing a mix of XL and L shirts.  The XL’s were purchased last summer and were my first step down but all the recent purchases have been L.  I have been so used to having to hide so I’ve always worn things that were as big as possible but I finally convinced myself that I’m not an XL and they are too big and I needed to get rid of them.  So I took a bunch to Goodwill and then went shopping.  Took four shirts of various sizes and actually ended up with the M.  I could have gone with the slim fit M but I just wasn’t ready to commit to that yet.  I can’t yet associate “slim fit” with me.

Then I decided to try a pair of shorts that were a size smaller than what I was wearing and they fit.  This is a size that I don’t remember think I’ve worn since high school.  And yet, it is still hard for me to wrap my head around what I really look like.  According to the weight charts, I could still lose another 10-12 pounds but I keep running into people who tell me I’ve lost too much and need to stop.  OK, they never come out and say that but the question is asked “You’re not still trying to lose weight are you?”  and it is asked in such a way that it is clear they think I need to stop.  Funny part is I don’t see it.  I can look at myself and easily see where I could stand to lose some more.

I guess the biggest issue is that when I was heavy, I avoided tight clothes because I was sure that everyone would be looking at me – and not in a positive way.  Now, when I put something on that is tight, I have the same reaction even though the logical part of my mind knows I look a lot different than I used to.  Not sure when or if I will ever get over that but getting rid of the XL shirts was a good step.


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